Party Practitioner Gifts

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Beers

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Shaken not stirred

Balancing two espresso martinis

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

Whale Piñata.

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

Join me in a Caiprinha!

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Pinara fund