Party Pooper Champion T-Shirts

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'You've had enough!'

"I'm passing on Halloween parties this year. You just know everyone's going to show up as Martha Stewart."

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'So I guess it's New Year!'

"Man, this party's boring... do you think we oughta add a laugh track?"

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"They stay together for the money."

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

"Not a chance."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

"Dreadful party, nobody to talk to!"

'I hate these things. They're always so formal.'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

Victorian Children's Party

Drink kills.

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."