Party Pooper Appreciator Pillows

"My name is Jean. I'll be your downer for the evening."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

Conga train chasing a man at a party.

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'You've had enough!'

"I'm passing on Halloween parties this year. You just know everyone's going to show up as Martha Stewart."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'So I guess it's New Year!'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

"They stay together for the money."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Man, this party's boring... do you think we oughta add a laugh track?"

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

"Not a chance."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

"Dreadful party, nobody to talk to!"

'I hate these things. They're always so formal.'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

Drink kills.

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."

Victorian Children's Party

"Yipes! Grownups!!"

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."