Party Philosopher T-Shirts

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

'Have you noticed it, too?'

Social Networking - Outsider.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"And just who the hell are you to tell me I'm entitled to my opinion?"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

"What part of Canada that I know nothing about are you from?"

"It's sweet of you to blame male attitudes, but I like to think I'm neurotic in my own right."

'Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert.'

'I'm a writer. Boilerplate.'

The party is over.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"People used to think of Miriam as zany. Later, she was generally perceived as kooky. Now, I'm afraid, the consensus is that's she's flaky."

'It's a great party. Everyone here is more insecure than I am!'

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"I think of you as being enormously alive."

"Surely you remember my husband?... You may not recognise him standing up."

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

'I get no kick from Champagne, mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all...' 'God, reformed alcoholics are so damned smug!'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'Do you suppose nobody pays any attention to us because we've only been married once?'

"Eve and I go back a long way"

'For some reason, people tend to view me as arrogant, despite my superior virtues and academic aptitude...'

No I have not been to the dordogne,edinburgh festival or a villa in tuscany

'Edward's at that awkward age.'

'How do you do? I'll be your wife's ex-husband, when she gets around to divorcing me.'

'I like women who know how to listen.'

'I sense you're the victim of an intact home...'

'I'm sure we haven't met. I use a telephoto lens.'

God turning Adam and Eve away from Club Eden.

'And which strata of literary life do you inhabit?'

"I thought they'd hit it off. They're all going through their mid-life crises."

'Tonight's Party thought: We have more than 10,000 nuclear warheads.'

'When we want intelligence, we spy on other countries for it? That worries me.'