Party Peeps T-Shirts

"Yes, Dear, I know you hate parties, but couldn't you at least try to be a little sociable?"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Face painting by numbers.

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"Do that again, but cuter."

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"Same old crowd."

"So who else is gonna be there?"

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Two office workers playing between their cubicles.

'Got to keep the little ones entertained!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

'You've had enough!'

"I've been dying to hit the dance floor in a crowded nightclub."

A girl with a dog and balloons

Scheduel.

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

I always lose at hide and seek: The smell gives me away...