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Ned helped out

"We don't believe in pressuring the children. When the time is right, they'll choose the appropriate gender."

"Can we talk through a decision that I've already made?"

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

'What, you wanted to see something in the one fifty range, didn't you?'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."

"You didn't tell me Tuscany doesn't have cable."

'There you go again, jumping to the wrong conclusions'

"I'm a patient woman herb and I'm not giving up."

'When I insisted on a prenup, how was I to know she'd be the one to win the lottery!?'

'I know that you have changed Irene, but I still think we can work things out.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'It looks exactly like the picture in the recipe book except for the burnt bits.'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

'Anything less co-dependent?'

'Get up and do something, George, so I can put it in our Christmas letter.'

"My husband just invented fire. Now he'll expect a hot meal every night."

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"Oh, look—here's the one from last night!"

"I assume that's a no?"

"It's 11.30pm Do you know where your children are? Do you care?"

"It's not about the cat door, is it? It's a 'who is the pet and who is the owner' thing..."

Although Frank gets away with overusing that phrase on his diagnostic reports at work, it doesn't work out so well at home.

"Maybe you should law off the anti-depressants."

"This isn't about retribution, Harold. It's about boundaries."

'How do you expect me to keep track of the date when they change it every day?'

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

Man buys condoms, woman buys asprin.

"Yes, of course I think of you when you're not here. I'm always wondering how much of my money you're spending."

Driving home for Christmas.

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

'Fred and Carol sure know how to get the most out of a coffee break.'

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."