Partner T-Shirts

"You shouldn't have!"

"I miss you too, honey. Now put the dog on."

"We believe that in a former life she was an editor."

"We'd be there by now in the car you know."

Creation of Red Wine

"Susan, this might be just the wine talking, but I think I want to order more wine."

"You slept with her, didn't you?"

"And did that make you feel like a little bitch?"

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

"Everything I know about self-care, I learned from you."

"You are my blue beach glass."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

"There's always one annoying piece left over."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"You can't plead cute."

"I made partner!"

"She was a rescue."

"With you I have known peace, Lida, and now you say you're going crazy."

"I'm sorry, dear. I wasn't listening. Could you repeat what you've said since we've been married?"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"Worst-case scenario? The renovation goes three years and two million dollars over budget, one of you bludgeons me to death with my own hammer, and you both get the electric chair."

"Surprise!"

Learning Curve

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

"Sweetheart, I don't want anyone to make you unhappy except me."

"It'll never work—you're a moviegoer and I'm a film buff."

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

"I'm sorry darling, did I just say, 'I hate you with every micro-fiber of my being'?"

"You're not going to put that there, are you?"

Sleeping Cat Dreams Of Other Side Of Couch

"As a matter of fact, you did catch us at a bad time."