Partner With A Pet Pillows

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Collies Without Borders

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Pet Entertainers

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"Cat park"

"It's nice to be wanted."

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

His master's voice

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'She's killing me with kindness!'

Dog on Cat.

Cat watching plug sockets.

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Cat Chores