Particle Philosopher Gifts

A Higgs Bosun

Some recently de-classified nuclear secrets.

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Subatomic particles

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Flea Philosophy.

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

Club insecurity.

"I'm tired of being an electron."

'It may be just a dog turd too you - but to Professor Brian Cox and me it's a little piece of stardust.' (Based on the fact that Professor Cox is fond of stating that most of the atoms that make up living things was created inside stars)

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'