Part-time Beach Bum Gifts

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Desert Island Meals.

Beach con-man.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Bad fake tan day.

'Thank-you God.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bring your own inflatable.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Hiding the electronics.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Iliadette.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'I blame global warming!'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

'It must be the dead sea.'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Surfing koala.

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'