Parrot Psychology Pillows

Pirate has parrot for psychiatrist

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'You know too much!'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'You reek of crackers.'

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

"Repeat after me..."

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

Pirates

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."