Parrot Psychology Pillows

Pirate has parrot for psychiatrist

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'You know too much!'

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You reek of crackers.'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'Oi, call the fire brigade, my foot's stuck.'

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"Repeat after me..."

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Pirates

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."