Parrot Keeping T-Shirts

He can't actually talk, but he's a terrific listener!

The reluctant parrot

'Aw-FORGET it!'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'You know too much!'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

bird interprets modern art

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Superstock'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

Pirates

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"