Parody Priest Gifts

'They believe that, after death, the soul flies up to the roof and gets stuck there.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Do me next."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Chase me, chase me cows.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

God Sneezes Out Creation

Night-time halo

Ghostwriting the Bible

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'