Park Philosopher T-Shirts

'Is he taking the piss?'

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

"Venal, narcissistic, power hungry politicians. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"Damn it, Wilbur, that's our bench!"

Al, do you ever feel like the rest of the world is passing you by? Yes, but I tell myself it's only pigeons and squirrels. That's why I like sitting in the park.

"Being retired is okay, but it takes a while getting used to doing anything UNETHICAL."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Jurassic Parking Lot

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I'm bored."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Recess does things to a man."

Men gossiping

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'