Park Admirer T-Shirts

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

Stilt man feeding storks

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Rating the Sunset

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Tourist and Butterfly and Goat

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

"You know it's peak allergy season when they welcome Mom back into the flock."

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

"Take us to your pickleball courts."

Mountain Dads

Two people kissing in a Tunnel of Love are approached by two sharks

"All I see is more trees."

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

Riding the statue.

Mt. Tushmore

The First Commuters

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"We're spending too much time fetching balls in the park."