Parenting Prophets Pillows

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"That's the preacher's dog."

"How is it gendered?"

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

A self-filling prophecy.

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

'Dad a dachshund is really half a dog high and two dog long...'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."