Parenting Good-humorist Gifts

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I need to know who started it."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'