Parenting Comic Relief Pillows

'That never gets old.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

The First Printed Bible

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'How many times must I tell you? Stop drawing on the bloody walls!'

Impracticle Guide to having Babies

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'