Parenting Comedic Relief Pillows

'Forget that! This is my lifetime get out of jail free card!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Use your inside scream."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"Where's your nose?"