Parenting Appreciator Mugs

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

She's good, but Mom's better.

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

"Today you're an ugly duckling, but one day you'll turn into a gawky adolescent duck."

Life's Rarest Things

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

Ask your mother.

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'Oh no, I put Rusty out. But man! I have an awful stomache ache! I think I need ice cream....separate bowls.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"Downward Drool" is ok, but if you want something challenging, try "forward-facing full diaper."

A father pushes his baby on a swing

Parental Valentines Day Cards

What Did You Do During the Culture War, Daddy?

'Did you know that our lawn is astroturf? I think our parents must be total psychos.'