Parental Figure Appreciator Mugs

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"Think of the campfire like your Grandmother - it deserves respect and constant attention."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"You don't need those glasses. Life is already in 3-D."

'Sure, I have lots of Rescue and Bravery Awards, but it's my first 'Best Daddy Award'...'

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.

'Mum, I've dropped my ice-cream...'

'When it comes to the children I believe in light-touch regulation.'