Parental Appreciators Mugs

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

"You don't need those glasses. Life is already in 3-D."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

'Mum, I've dropped my ice-cream...'

'I wanna be a milkman like my dad when I grow up!'

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.