Parenthood Explorers Pillows

"Your baby's fussiness, whining, and general discontent isn't anything to worry about. It should clear up on its own in about 18 years."

'Stork? No way! You were pulled out of a magician's hat!'

'What do you mean you're going into labor, dear? It's only Saturday. Can't you wait 'til Monday?'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'Mom says she has a souffl

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'