Parental Workout Warrior Pillows

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

The online yoga class was not without interruptions.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'