Parental Supervision Humorist Pillows

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

Trick or Tweet

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."