Parental Pressure Survivors Pillows

'...And this is our spare son in case the first one doesn't live up to expectations'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

Man climbs a ladder only to find the word HELP.

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

New dunce caps

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

Mother's Whistler.

"I'm letting him soak."

Daughter/psychiatrist

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

State Prison Child Care

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Working an 80 hour week never did me any harm!"

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

Poker Moms

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

'The pressure is too great. We want to be transferred out of panacea research.'

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'