Parental Pressure Critic Pillows

New dunce caps

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

Mobile phone damage to children.

Daughter/psychiatrist

"In regards to my son's education I am a firm believer in 'Laissez-Faire'."

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

State Prison Child Care

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

Poker Moms

"Parental advisory explicit content"

'No, I haven't heard that the FDA has taken broccoli off the market.'

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

"I know this sounds corny, Bob, but for me, the true measure of success is when I can look at the man in the mirror each day and still find a way to blame my parents for everything wrong in my life!"

'Kindergarten is supposed to be fun. You mustn't be doing it right.'

"I miss helicopter parenting."

"They shouldn't show all this sex on TV. Kids will learn from it. "

'Typical new dad: the kid's still a maggot - barely able to squirm - but Dewey's already brought him a regulation size football.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about, all my babies have been designer.'

'Junior's been bullied ...'

"It's not the kids I hate. It's the parents for having them."

'Don't you think that kid's a little old to still be sucking on a bottle?'

"Dad won't let me play video games because they promote violence...so he's letting me play with his assault rifle collection!"

'Mum-I need a solicitor!'

'You know this belt I've been using to punish the kids? It can also be used to hold up my pants!'

'My mother wants to talk to you.'

'I'm introducing a new system of speeding up the housekeeping chores.'

"So what if he paid a classmate to do his homework – it was his own allowance."