Parental Juggling Act Appreciator Pillows

'When it comes to families 'none of the above' is a huge category.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

Judge, jury and executioner.

Family Home.

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

"When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...."

"Your mom's a very special person."

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

Kids go to school and mom goes to the psychiatric clinic.

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."

The perils of working from home

"Now that Ella's turning two, I'd like to transition to being a stay-at-work mom."

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

'But, sweetheart, it's only for three hours. Just say you're bringing him in for loitering.'

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'We have three small children, do you sell these things by the dozen?'

'After the day I've had at the office, I'm expected to stir my own tea!'

The Baby in the Theatre

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

'Your mother and I feel it's important to let kids be kids. Can we leave that with you?'

Stress? Easy to fix. Get a different job and family.

'It's all over! Warm up the bus!'

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"