Parental Escapists Pillows

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

'Cleanliness is next to...impossible.'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"No, son, there's no severance package."

Last day of school.

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"Now that the kids are in jail, maybe we can take the vacation we always wanted."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'Sounds like all the kids are already here for the labor day picnic... I think I'll wait in the car.'

'I want to go to a place where there's no parents!'

"You didn't tell the kids where we moved to, did you?"

"I've decided to re-enter the workforce so I can spend less time with my family."

"Mom, I've decided to move in with grandma and grandpa."

"Afternoon Frank. The kids are still on their six weeks holidays, I see!"

'I do! Someone else should cook! Drive!'

Kid with dog pool toy reads sign at swimming pool saying 'No dogs allowed'.

Time for Yourself.

You are Here- But Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

"Let's mix things up this Thanksgiving. Instead of all of us going to your folks', let's just drop off the kids, drive away and never look back."

Man comes home to find house in disorder and leaves again.

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

"Mum, Dad...I'm a teenager."

Writing A Book Report.

"My education was a nightmare! Bullying, time-outs, bickery and tipsy-teachers!"