Parental Escapists Pillows

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"No, son, there's no severance package."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

'Cleanliness is next to...impossible.'

Last day of school.

Site Safety: Minutes Since Last Accident.

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"Now that the kids are in jail, maybe we can take the vacation we always wanted."

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass.

"You didn't tell the kids where we moved to, did you?"

'Sounds like all the kids are already here for the labor day picnic... I think I'll wait in the car.'

'I want to go to a place where there's no parents!'

"I've decided to re-enter the workforce so I can spend less time with my family."

'I do! Someone else should cook! Drive!'

Kid with dog pool toy reads sign at swimming pool saying 'No dogs allowed'.

"Afternoon Frank. The kids are still on their six weeks holidays, I see!"

"Mom, I've decided to move in with grandma and grandpa."

Time for Yourself.

You are Here- But Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

"Let's mix things up this Thanksgiving. Instead of all of us going to your folks', let's just drop off the kids, drive away and never look back."

Man comes home to find house in disorder and leaves again.

"Mum, Dad...I'm a teenager."

Writing A Book Report.