Parenting Escapist Pillows

In Case of Emergency Break Glass.

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

"You didn't tell the kids where we moved to, did you?"

Bo're'droom

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"