Parental Ceo Pillows

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Balancing work and family

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Acclaimed mother.

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

'Congatulations! It's a PDA!'

Super express lane for working mothers only!

"Your dad sure worries a lot."

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"I figured out how to get them to clean up the leaves. I hid their phones in them."

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

"Head of household? Now, who would that be?"

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"I see your problem, honey. You're doing everything 'waterfall'. You should switch to 'agile'."

'Some days it's hard to keep one step ahead of them.'

"Ok, so maybe cross-dressing camp wasn’t such a great idea after all."

"Daddy promises he'll be there the next time you kick butt, honey."

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."