Parent-protected Paramours Pillows

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

"Thanks for walking me home."

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

'My wife bought me this helmet when I told her I was buying a bike. She's a little over protective.'

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

Eskimo pram

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

'Stop nagging! I'm fathering.'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

Parents dressing children in protective gear in order to play conkers.

'This way, please. Additional screening required.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."