Pet Paramour Pillows

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

"Thanks for walking me home."

All right, if it will make you feel better, I'll call you my BFF.

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

His master's voice

"Sitting here with you is so perfect … which reminds me: You can never die."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

Be a friend.

'She's killing me with kindness!'

Cat Chores

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'