Parent-child Debater Gifts

'Well, what I'm saying is just what you're saying only with different sound bites'!'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

Marry one wife, get another one free - 'It's our new incentive for marriage.'

"Daddy, which group of economists did you support during the recession?"

Education Act of 1870 - Quarrelling

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"I love the way you make me rethink my commitment to family values."

If it weren't for successful H.S. dropouts, who'd hire the college graduate.

"Maybe you should phone your Mother, and ask her if you can watch it."

You Must Be This Tall - To Have An Opinion

"Mommy and Daddy are arguing again."

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.

"I have a healthy skepticism of what's reported to me as 'fact'."

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'

'Why do you ask me questions if you don't want to hear the answers?'

"Must you tell us what our daily share of the national debt is every time we sit down to dinner?"

'And that's it in a nutshell son... any questions?'

Those aren't voices in your head. Those are your parents.

"Michael, you can’t be a ‘stay-at-home dad’ if we don’t have children!"

"Your bible says disobedient children should be stoned to death. Won't you agree that capital punishment is an improper parenting technique?"

'My parents had the decency to die at the right age!'

"The willful suspension of logic and reason...that's the problem with the world today!"

The Electoral Trolley Problem

"So, it's back to school! I remember when I was your age."

"It's enough wine to celebrate Mother's Day and not so much that we accidentally have another child."

"Spare me the commentary."