Parent-child Bonding Advocates Gifts

"Is there something wrong with the car, Mom?"

'Mom, Dad just got a nibble.'

Mother Duck.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

First Steps

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'I know I'm your father, but I'm also your attorney and these father-son talks are considered billable hours.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"Dad, Cruz and I are going to see 'Planet of the Apes.'"

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

'He had a tough time fishing today,'

'Great teamwork Joey!'

A woman carrying a child carrying a teddy bear

"That's it! You've watched TV out here long enough! We need to spend more family time together! I'm putting this thing in the closet!"

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

3 Easy Christmas Crafts

"What's it to be Dad? Two quid or Handels water music in G flat?"

"Remember, technically, it's not lying if you tell your mother I was teaching you how to drive."

Caveman's son on stone inline skates

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

'I can't take the stress test next week. I have to go to the pool with my grandson and show him how to do a one-and-a-half gainer of the high diving board.'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

"Dad, sparklers are for kids!"

'A toast to the graduate. You're in a class by yourself.'

'There has to be a more humane way to kill time...'

"No offense, Dad, but I'm not really interested in wearing stuff that was cool when you were a kid. I think I can make my own decisions..."

Motherhood and Apple Pie.

Isn't that SWEET,Ron,-he wants you to have his Get-out-of-jail-free card!