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The New Normal

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

The Origins of Everything

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Dog Igloo.

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'