Parched Planet Ponderer Prints

The New Normal

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Shall we put it in play?"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

Dog Igloo.

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'