Parasol Fanatic Gifts

"We come all this way to relax in the sun, then lug all this stuff to protect it from us."

"Here's the parking lot."

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

Signing the declaration of independence.

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

It's an experiment.

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Cupcakes!

Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Pop orchestra plays concert for children

Institute of Infectious Diseases

"Of course the HMO never stops b****ing about my electricity bills!"

Hello, Mary Popmedia. Who do you think you are? A citizen journalist. Ha. You have no training, no experience. What gives you the right? The first amendment! Or is it the second amendment? I have the experience to look up the answer.

Hot weather brings misery to millions.

'Little Miss Muffet 2009'

"I kid you not, these "Mammals" do not lay eggs but give birth to live young: Now, that's weird evolution if you ask me..."

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

"Daddy will be home shortly. He's doing a little moonlighting."

'I'd like to report a sporran-snatcher.'

"I just washed and waxed it. I don't want the birds messing it up!"

The Hellish Sermon

'I KNOW the country is deeply divided!'

Wrap it in bubbles We don't have time for your stupid games, Fenwick We need to get this thing shipped to Philly,,, Now

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."

"Since you don't like fruit, I got you a donut."

'Here's another popsicle stick for ya, Doc.'

What're the old folks doing? Sadie's putting Uncle Mort on a regimen. They're always trying to put us on regimens. The last one told me Five times a day, and no more. So I cut her loose. If a man wants to floss ten times a day, it's what he's gotta do. Only one organized protest a day? Lady, you're cramping my style. You've hit your quota for back-talking.

'I'd go as far as Schenechtady.'