Popping Fanatic Gifts

Time for the traditional bubble-wrap dance.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Showbiz Awards

Cimafunk

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Laughing Zone Ahead

Musical notes bubble gum.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Punk Reindeer

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

"Check out this new store."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Robbie Williams

Volcaniax

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

Harriet Walter

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

Chris O'Dowd

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Music for car stereos

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'Please stop crying into your beer - It's watered down enough!'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Vincent Van Goth.