Par-tner In Crime Gifts

Kissing on the golf course

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Violent Crime Statistics

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

The evidence destroyed

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Mobsters at the Beach

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'