Partner-in-crime Lovers Gifts

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"Then I tried the move from business casual to white collar crime."

Happy Valentine's Day

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'Did he say anything before he died?'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"I'm creating the world's first 'instant lowrider' kit! I'll need partners...and when the profits roll in, I'll take 75 percent and they will get 50 percent."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

"When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking"

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

'Do you see your assailant anywhere in this photo array?'

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

Joke Shop.

"Just a few more steps Wilson, we're still walking."

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

'I say, are you fellows going to be long?'

"I'm just going to step into the bank to get some money for dinner."

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...