Par-tner In Crime T-Shirts

Kissing on the golf course

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Minority Report

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Violent Crime Statistics

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Mobsters at the Beach

The evidence destroyed

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'