Par Chaser Gifts

"The goal is to hate yourself."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Breakthrough

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Letter writing lady.

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

Chris Froome

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Tango

Life in the fastest lane.

Astronaut

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

A Discreet Hint.

Flower tribute

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

"We'd like to get away from it all in something that can take it all with us."

Fluctating Graph.

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."

'He's training for a career in law.'

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

Cosmic Ray

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

Born to be Wild

'Look at it this way...you're like a big pop star! The hits just keep on coming!'

'Go to Daddy!'

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'