Paperwork Pundit Gifts

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

Man marks documents as 'Illegal', 'Sweet Spot' and 'Legal'.

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'Nice touch, but we don't have any openings in the auditing department.'

'Bemis, what ever happened to good old 'in-out' boxes?'

The customer is never right.

"Students always think that they're going to change the world..."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

'Bitch' and 'Moan' Desk Trays.

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

PCTs New 'Balanced Scorecard' may prove one monitoring system to far.

Man with In, Out and Try Again Desk Organizers.

Editor. Short. Sweet.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"OK, Miss Wilson - show in the Revenue."

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

"But what does it mean?"

"I'm dating an admin officer..."

"They are the guidelines on how to run a 'paperless' office."

"Sorry ma'm, we'd love to two your vehicle, but I need all my farm hands to help fill out the subsidy forms!"

Nostalgia: 'In one era..out the other'

"Yes, but is it fully costed?"

Man sits at desk with workboxes: Nothing ventured/ Nothing gained.

Exclamation Mark/Question Mark Filing Trays.

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

'Good proposal. Very good. But my hands are tied. Too bad you didn't go through the proper channels.'

"People are always moaning about 'red-tape' about mountains of form filling."

'We finally do have meaningful tax reform, sir. This year's form is printed on recycled paper.'

'I can assure you all job applications are completely confidential!'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

Information Manager

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'