Paperwork Jokester Gifts

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

I check I.D.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

Laptop Dancing.

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

In, out, shake it all about.

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."