Paper Pun Lover Pillows

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

Filing Trays.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

RIP John Le Carre

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

Larry's Literary Market.

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.