Paper Paradox Lover Gifts

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

The Meaning of Life

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

Speech - no, he's going to ask his boss for a rise.

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

I love Fountain Pens

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

Fun at the Office # 729: MEMO FANATICS IN THE HALL

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

"Tablets? Are we talking digital or paper?"

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'

"Eighty percent polyester."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Grenadiers

Right Against Right.

Zeno Gives Directions

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

Bureaucracy in Food Production

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

The City that Never Sleeps.

Fastest slowest animal

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

'I know it's way past closing time, but I'm really enjoying this!'

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'

"I'm making 1000 copies for my lesson on wasting resources."