Papal Role Player Gifts

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

John Wayne

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'My God - there's two of 'em!'

Ethelred II

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

'Apparently, they've gone rogue, Al. They've stopped playing roles and are speaking for themselves, and what we have here are two very disturbed bruins.'

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'Sorry about the war, folks - I was off my meds.'

The Pope

The world welcomes Pope Francis I

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'Not only did they overthrow me, the bums also kept the damage deposit!'

'My brother-in-law asked for political asylum, so I had him committed.'

You're getting a crown for cosmetic purposes. You're not being made the ruler of all us other teeth.

A king stands on his balcony; his legs match the balustrade.

"Overtime on the Humpty-Dumpty project is killing the treasury."

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

'I couldn't possibly kiss you. I just don't find you attractive. '

Not 'Time' or 'Newsweek' yet, Sire — but you made the cover of 'Dungeons and Dragons'!

Cross dressing class: 'Today we will be learning how to spend hours in the bathroom and moan about men.'

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'