Pantomimes T-Shirts

Villain pokes round the corner in a theatre production.

"Extreme miming"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

The Phantom Of The Garden

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Mime father in the delivery room.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

Wordplay: Pantomime.

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

Quiet Quitting

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

Call centre musicians

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

'She got the part thanks to her Zumba lessons.'

Panto Horse at the Races

"Oh Gary, I wish you could see this."

'As marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition, my advice is that you trade ends occasionally.'

Although not under the covers, a mime husband's fart inside an invisible box is still considered a Dutch oven.