Panic Preventer T-Shirts

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

Desk bins: 'Not to worry, Not to worry, Not to worry, and PANIC.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Fight or Flight

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

The stock market sky is falling.

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"I need a gap year."

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

'it's either mass hysteria, or a very effective advertising campaign.'

Nobody ever listens to what I say phobia.

'Take it easy, you're a cow. They love cow humor.'

Horses are nervous animals. . .

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

"The longer I work here, the bigger my stress ball needs to be".

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Is there an elvis in the building?!'

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

PANIC!

Rudy, have a seat. I need a word with you. Uh oh. Whenever you use that tone of voice, it means bad news is coming. Are you firing me? Don't panic. Have a seat. Dead man walking!

"Of course it was good, Milton. . . But the best part is it took my mind off the condition the country is in for nearly twenty minutes!"

"Computer trading happens so fast, I hardly have time to hit my panic button."